Fluff and Nonsense
by Neocolai
Summary: In which Judy brings her new partner a present, Nick is mystified by stuffed animals, Clawhauser thinks boxes would be adorable, and Chief Bogo wants to fire his new crew.
**Disclaimer: Neocolai does not own Zootopia or anything associated therein.**

* * *

Two things Judy had learned about Nick during the Nighthowler Case (besides the obvious signals, such as his being inattentive, inordinate, inconsiderate, sneaky, and inconceivably loyal). One, Nick liked fluffy things. (His attack on Mayor Bellwether's wool had proved such.) Two, he liked exercising his "wild side" every now and then.

It was impossible to miss how much _fun_ he'd had ripping apart that stuffed deer.

So as a goodwill offering, and to prove how really not-scared she was of her new partner, Judy proudly plopped a cardboard bag twice her size on Officer Wilde's desk.

"Wait – what – Judy, what is this? Can't you see I just cleaned up this place?" Nick peeked around the bag, torn between curiosity and irascibility that his impeccable workspace had been invaded. He really was proud of that scuffed-up desk by the water cooler…

"It's a present," Judy said, perking her ears in anticipation.

"A... what?" Suspicion tilted one pointed ear, while the other flicked excitedly.

Judy smiled. Only Nick could express duo emotions while sounding like a bored plumber. "A present," she repeated. "It's kind of a 'welcome to the department' gift. You know, some people throw a party, some people just leave a card…."

"Uh-huh," Nick droned, nodding disinterestedly as he inspected the bag.

"… Some people offer pies, and some of us just… want to make the place a little brighter!" Judy grinned anxiously, shifting from foot to foot. Finally she sighed. "All right, it was a dumb idea, but I just wanted you to feel like you were –"

"It's a … stuffed lamb?" Nick frowned as he pulled a wooly toy from the top. Mystified, he flicked his finger against the tiny bell around its neck.

"It's an antique!" Judy gusted. "They never make them with real wool anymore."

"Um… Thanks…." Nick moved to drop it on his desk, and Judy added in a frantic shout,

"It's a worry toy – you can squeeze it and squash it and bite it whenever you're angry about something."

Both coppery ears flattened. "Let me get this straight," Nick said after a pause. "You bought me an expensive toy to _shred_."

"You… really liked sheep's wool," Judy explained, dragging one foot in a circle. "I thought you might enjoy… I don't know…."

"Exacting my revenge?" Nick drawled. He hmphed lightly and set the lamb down, squeezing it twice before rummaging in the bag again. "Let's see, a shrew…."

"It squeaks when you squeeze it!" Judy rattled, clapping her paws over her face.

Another droll look from those shrewd, green eyes. Judy wished she had followed her instincts and just brought doughnuts instead.

"A polar bear!" Nick said with mock enthusiasm as he detangled the burliest toy.

"It's a collectable!" Judy wailed behind her paws.

"And, aw, isn't this the sweetest little giraffe." Nick lined up the animals on his desk and tugged the bag forward with one claw, frowning in disappointment.

"I know, it was a stupid present!" Judy babbled. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'll take them back. I wasn't trying to compromise you, I promise –"

"You didn't trust me with a rabbit," Nick said softly.

Judy trailed off in her apology. "Huh?"

Sighing, Nick quirked a sad smile. "I just thought maybe you would have thought of a rabbit. My mistake."

"Oh…." Ears drooping, Judy rubbed her paws. "I didn't want to make you think I was …. I didn't want to…"

"Give me the impression that I would be shredding you," Nick stated crisply.

"No!" Judy exclaimed. Tadpoles, how had she led him to such an awful assumption - again?

"I ... I just..." Lamely she admitted, "Clawhauser told me you've been having nightmares."

Green eyes dilated and the sweeping tail tucked in as every copper hair shivered. "…What…?" Nick said in a small voice.

"I … he didn't tell anyone but me," Judy admitted. Too late to back out now. "You fell asleep at your desk once… he said you were muttering my name… saying sorry…"

Nick swallowed. Squeezing her eyes shut, Judy gushed, "I didn't want to give you the impression that I thought you would hurt me by giving you a rabbit toy. I'm sorry – this whole thing came out so wrong – I just wanted you to feel welcome here – and I wanted you to know that I'm not afraid of you even if you act wild sometimes, and I don't think you're savage, I just wanted you to be comfortable the way you are – I don't care if you're a fox!"

She broke off, gasping, swiping her eyes before she started crying in front of him again. Why did she always mess everything up just by trying to make everyone feel safe? Now she'd proved once again that Nick had no place in the police department.

"Aw, Carrots…."

A rustle of paper and a scrape of his chair, and Nick was crouched beside her, one lanky arm winding around her shoulders. Judy trembled, wishing she had the suave of a fox. Maybe then she wouldn't say so many stupid things.

"I guess what you meant to say is that I've got my bunny right here," Nick said gently.

"Huh?" Blinking frantically, Judy moved to wipe her nose and then paused when Nick whipped a box of kleenex from his desk. Uncertainly Judy smiled.

"It was nice of you, Carrots," Nick assured. He looked back at the desk and sighed wistfully. "Mom never could afford that stuff."

"I… I wasn't trying to treat you like a kid," Judy croaked.

"Who, me?" Green eyes widened in denial. "I am the most mature mammal on the police force. I would never stoop to chewing on a stuffed lamb."

Those coppery ears flickered maniacally, and Judy stifled a grin. "You… you're not angry with me, then?"

Nick shrugged lopsidedly. "Nah. I always wanted to squeeze little Miss Bellwether to death."

"Nick!" Judy clapped her paws over her mouth, unable to help her laughter.

* * *

One hour later, Chief Bogo paused midstride and looked down from his clipboard to see drifts of fluff littering the hallway. Clawhauser followed him with a dustpan, sighing as he gazed at the closed door of Officer Wilde's cubicle, where silhouettes of a rabbit and a fox were attacking one another with what looked oddly like a teddy bear and a horrid mimicry of Bellwether the traitor.

"Aw, isn't that so sweet," Clawhauser said as he leaned on his broom. "They're having their first quarrel."

Chief Bogo's grip tightened on the clipboard. _To my office,_ was his instinctive response. Instead he glowered at Clawhauser and warned, "The public will _never_ hear of this."


End file.
